“Now that we’re losing again, everything has taken a turn for the better”
I was browsing quotations from Joseph Heller’s Catch-22, in search of a byline for this blog. I came across this little gem from the scene in Rome where Nately, the Amerian optimist and patriot finds himself arguing with the Old Man in Rome. What fascinates me is how the old man’s arguments strike me as being both utterly absurd, yet profoundly true.
America,” [the Old Man] said, “will lose the war. And Italy will win it.”
America is the stongest and most prosperous nation on earth,” Nately informed him with lofty fervor and dignity. “And the American fighting man is second to none.”
“Exactly,” agreed the old man pleasantly, with a hint of taunting amusement. Italy, on the other hand, is one of the least prosperous nations on earth. And the Italian fighting man is probably second to all. And that’s exactly why my country is doing so well in this war while your country is doing so poorly.”
“I’m sorry I laughed at you. But Italy was occupied by the Germans and is now being occupied by us. You don’t call that doing very well, do you?”
“But of course I do,” exclaimed the old man cheerfully. “The Germans are being driven out, and we’re still here. In a few years, you will be gone, too, and we will still be here. You see, Italy is really a very poor and weak country, and that’s what makes us so strong. Italian soldiers are not dying anymore. But American and German soldiers are. I call that doing extremely well. Yes, I’m quite certain Italy will survive this war and still be in existence long after your own country has been destroyed” …
….”I don’t believe anything you tell me,” Nately replied… “The only thing I do believe is that America is going to win the war.”
“You put so much stock in winning wars. The real trick lies in losing wars, in knowing which wars can be lost. Italy has been losing wars for centuries, and just see how splendidly we’ve done nonetheless. France wins wars and is in a continual state of crisis. Germany loses and prospers. Look at our own recent history. Italy won a war in Ethiopia and promptly stumbled into serious trouble. Victory gave us such insane delusions of grandeur that we helped start a world war we hadn’t a chance of winning. But now that we’re losing again, everything has taken a turn for the better, and we will certainly come out on top again if we succeed in being defeated.”
It’s easy to play the game and substitute ‘Iraq’ for ‘Italy,’ but I think that’s too simplistic. Iraq is not doing so well, and may be far worse after the U.S. leaves. Still, there are some parallels to be drawn. Americans are dying every day and some day we will look back and wonder how the greatest army in the world lost to a fighting force “second to all.”