Escape From Pianosa

I went to the city to get my scooter out of the back shed in my house in Baltimore.. And I notice that everything smells like shit… And I look around… And there’s blankets on the ground, in my little back yard. Yes, there’s a bum living there. A freaking bum living in my back yard. No wonder the house isn’t selling.

But this pales in comparison to the woman in my rental house who, after notifying me 2 months ago that she’s leaving, decides that in fact she wants to stay. Only she doesn’t tell me until two days before another family is scheduled to move in, and one week before I sell the house to another investor.

It pales in comparison because unlike the bum, who I can evict by moving his blankets and bicycle into the alley, I have to hire a lawyer to get the woman out. It’s my property, she has no right to be there, yet legally I’m forbidden from removing her. Tell me how that makes sense. If a stranger breaks into your house you can kick ‘em out at gunpoint. I don’t see how this is any different.