Archive for the 'humor' Category


Quote of the Day

The quote of the day comes from San Francisco mayor, Gavin Newsom:

“I’m not going to moralize it, but I don’t think this is the appropriate place” for a porn film studio, says the mayor, who recently admitted to having an affair with his re-election campaign manager’s wife.

Here’s more from the WSJ (RR) on the unintended consequences of San Francisco’s zoning laws.

The Joys of Baltimore, Door-to-Door Salesman Edition

My dinner was interrupted tonight by two young Hispanic males, knocking on my door, asking me if I spoke Spanish.

Yes, I do.

(unwrapping his wares) Would you like to buy a gold chain?

Mmm, no. Thank you though.

Anyone else on the street speak Spanish?

The lady on the corner…good luck fellas…

This is the second time I’ve had people knock on my door offering ‘discount’ jewelry. Does this happen in other cities?

Actually, one of my favorite Baltimore moments is when I was sitting on the steps of a row house on Carroll Street in Washington Village and a guy walked by me with one of those big plastic reclining chairs you find at public swimming pools. “Hey man, you need a chair?”

Oldtown Mall Development

I was looking for information on the redevelopment of the Oldtown Mall area and YouTube brought me this video short by some up and coming Baltimore film makers. If any developers are looking for some visionary ideas, these girls might have it… Or a good laugh if you’re into dark humor at Baltimore’s expense.

Television - It’s Even Better Than Furniture

I’ve been having TV envy lately. OK, not really because I don’t watch much TV–although I don’t hold it over anyone’s head. I actually like a lot of TV shows but not enough to make them a priority–except for The Wire and pretty much anything else HBO produces.

Anyway, I went to look at a house yesterday and what do I see in the living room? A humongous flat-panel TV that must’ve cost at least $1000. And what else did I see in the living room? Nothing. As in no furniture whatsoever. No furniture upstairs in the bedrooms either. I can understand the desire to have a very large television, but at the cost of furniture? I don’t pretend to know what’s best for other people, but that certainly boggles my mind.

Flipper Nation

Check out this funny parody of newbie real estate investors from Flipper Nation. If this is you then you need to talk to someone with more than 5 weeks experience…

HT to Matrix.

Swapping Neighborhood Stories

I stumbled upon another Baltimore blogger today who lives not far from me, just across Patterson Park. She’s been sharing some of her ‘interesting experiences’ from living in the city, from the eviction of the local women of the night, to the pharmaceutical salesmen on her block. See, I told you it was normal!

I’m reminded of times when I run into my neighbor and we talk for hours about the ‘characters’ that live on our block. And by characters I mean the old guy across the street who seems to have a lot of ‘girlfriends’ or the drunks that stumble out of their house at two in the morning and wake you up with their incoherent shouting.

There’s even a guy across my alley who lives in a shed. As in a cinder block shed located in my neighbor’s backyard. From what I can tell, he’s mostly harmless, but I think the years of drinking have rotted his brain. He just sort of staggers around, grunting at things.

And that’s part of the fun of living here. While my neighborhood has been very gentrified in recent years as evidenced by the Starbucks and the frequency of expensive foreign car sightings, there are still a lot of people who have lived here for a long long time. The contrast between the old Baltimore working class types and the new urban professionals is fascinating.

Every Agent Needs A Niche

I don’t know what’s funnier– the idea that he specialized in selling indoor pot farms or the fact that his name is Dick Hung.

Or Why You Show Houses in Drug Neighborhoods Before 9AM

Me: “So, are you ready to get this deal done?”

Buyer: “Well… we were, but I drove by the house yesterday with my partner and we witnessed a drug deal right in front.”

Me: “Like, right in front of the house, or on the corner?”

Buyer: “No, right in front of the house. The guy pulled up in a car, handed over some money, and another guy ran over and gave him the drugs.”

Me: “Well, you see, that’s the funny thing about Baltimore.. Some neighborhoods… Really, it’s normal; I wouldn’t worry about it too much.”

Buyer: “We’re gonna pass on this one.”

Me: “Is there a better price that would work for you?”

Buyer: “Yeah. Zero.”

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