Escape From Pianosa

Nora told me I was her hero for not having a real job and that she doesn’t want me to change. Chris agrees.  All this time I felt somewhat like a bum, but no, I’m not. I’m a hero. That’s right. It’s not just firefighters that get to be heroes. It’s people like me. People brave enough to say “no” to the 9 to 5, even if it means living in your parents house for months at a time, sleeping in a little bed that’s two inches shorter than your body. The search for meaning is long and the examined life is hard. Don’t give up brave soldiers, don’t ever give up.

“An Incomplete Manifesto for Growth.” Especially…

1. Allow events to change you. You have to be willing to grow. Growth is different from something that happens to you. You produce it. You live it. The prerequisites for growth: the openness to experience events and the willingness to be changed by them.

14. Don’t be cool. Cool is conservative fear dressed in black. Free yourself from limits of this sort.

18. Stay up late. Strange things happen when you’ve gone too far, been up too long, worked too hard, and you’re separated from the rest of the world.

Clara touches on something that’s been running through my head for the past few months, that there’s this paradox between happiness and ambition. Happiness implies that you are content with what you have today, in this moment. And so I want to be happy, but I cannot square this desire with my other desires… to get a better job, to become a better improviser, to achieve and to change the world. There’s gotta be a way out of this; somehow you can be happy and ambitious, right?

My theory: Maybe contentment simply isn’t in our genes. Thanking one’s lucky stars serves no evolutionary purpose. As the dissatisfied and restless update their lives, always chasing what’s bigger and better, those who cash in too early get left in the dust. What’s more, life is short. Too much blissful rumination about the good things can distract a person from the bad that needs attention.

From an evolutionary standpoint, it seems that someone too easily contented will find himself too easily eaten by a large beast. Or his mate may sense his lack of ambition and head for greener pastures. I mean, to be 100% happy with your situation can only be a temporary thing. You’ll get hungry sooner or later.

I was almost disappointed to find my mystery tenant had moved on to greener pastures. I even brought my camera for the people who wouldn’t believe me when I say there was a bum living in my back yard. Alas, his timing was impeccable as the girl demanded a tour of the back. It’s so cute she said, yes, I thought you could even live here if you wanted…

I went to the city to get my scooter out of the back shed in my house in Baltimore.. And I notice that everything smells like shit… And I look around… And there’s blankets on the ground, in my little back yard. Yes, there’s a bum living there. A freaking bum living in my back yard. No wonder the house isn’t selling.

But this pales in comparison to the woman in my rental house who, after notifying me 2 months ago that she’s leaving, decides that in fact she wants to stay. Only she doesn’t tell me until two days before another family is scheduled to move in, and one week before I sell the house to another investor.

It pales in comparison because unlike the bum, who I can evict by moving his blankets and bicycle into the alley, I have to hire a lawyer to get the woman out. It’s my property, she has no right to be there, yet legally I’m forbidden from removing her. Tell me how that makes sense. If a stranger breaks into your house you can kick ‘em out at gunpoint. I don’t see how this is any different.

1. The Federal Reserve and its role in the housing bubble. Artificially low interest rates create excessive demand for long-term assets (like real estate), until the inflationary pressure spreads to other sectors, driving rates back up, causing a painful “readjustment” in long-term asset prices. Like my house. That was appraised at $236,000 in January 2006 and now refuses to sell at $199,500. Via the Austrian Economists.
I blame myself, as well as the Fed for the mess I’m in now. Which leads me to wonder if people who are partial to a philosophy of individual responsibility will be more likely to mis-attribute their failure or success to their own actions, even if they are the victims of luck, circumstance, or bad Fed policy.

2. Tyler Cowen on the development of social conventions such as tapping your foot to signal your interest in gay escapades with your stall neighbor. Seriously, what bold pioneer was the first to initiate such behavior and how is it codified? Or is there a secret gay planning committee that governs the conventions of sexual solicitation? I favor a spontaneous order explanation.

It’s so refreshing to see the rebellious kids, skateboarding by my window in tight jeans.

What are the implications for marriage and dating when scientists cure aging and humans can live vastly extended lives? If we live to 200 or 300 years old, will we still be monogamous?

It seems to me that the answer is no. When we get married, we forgo all future romantic relationships. In today’s world, where you might expect to live into your 80s or 90s, the opportunity cost of marriage is relatively low. If I get married at 30, then I’m giving up 50 to 60 years of single life. But as every year passes, the returns to bachelorhood decline. Every year I’m a little more wrinkled and my body is a little less defined. Financial success can offset these losses in physical appeal, but only up to a certain point. The 70-year-old millionaire isn’t much competition in dating terms for a fit 30-year-old who makes $70,000 a year.

But all that changes if I’m not aging anymore. If my nominal age is 95, but my biological age is 42, then I’ll still be an attractive mate. And so the costs of marriage skyrocket. Instead of forgoing 15-20 years of eligible bachelor status, I’ll be forgoing 150-250 years of eligibility.

My prediction is that people will still get married but on more of an ad hoc basis. We’ll get married for say 30 years, during which we’ll join together with a mate for the purpose of raising children, but these relationships will end amicably and people will go their separate ways, to start new families with new mates.

Katie says The Hills is a reality show. And I ask “but how can the acting be so bad on a reality show?” She smiles and says they’re nervous in front of the camera. But I know they’re not. They love the camera. They’re addicted to the camera. Comcast agrees with her. So does Wikipedia. But I’m not buying it. It’s way too produced to be a reality show. And the acting is so so bad. That’s what I love about it.

Civ 4 is best enjoyed by people who have no responsibilities in life–no kids, no job, no school, no immediate need for food, etc. If you insist on playing despite your worldly duties, I suggest taking care of anything critical before starting the game. That includes bathing, paying your mortgage, attending a job interview, etc.

Playing “for just a few hours” is not really an option, unless a few hours for you means 14 hours. Once you are in the proper mindset and you understand the implications of getting involved in Civ 4, you are ready to start. Like a strong riptide pulling you out to sea, your best bet is to surrender to the overwhelming force of the ocean until you reach calmer waters where you can tread water until the tide comes back in.

Don’t try to fight Civ 4, it will only make you feel guilty and weak. Ride it out for a few days or a few weeks until you get it out of your system and you cannot bear the thought of playing another turn. Take a deep breath and relax; it’s time to pick up the pieces of your neglected life.